What a difference a year can make... Mila's Birth Story

A year ago my heart exploded. I finally knew what it meant to love something so much it hurt.  Now we chase, snuggle (when she lets us), learn, love and laugh with our ONE YEAR OLD baby girl. It was a journey that started with cautious optimism and many doctors appointments, but was filled with excitement, love and anticipation as we welcomed our girl. It's hard to believe how much can change in a year. I didn't think I could feel so much love for someone I just met or fall even more in love with Morgan, but I did. Before another year goes by, time seems to fly with a baby, I wanted to share the story of the BEST DAY EVER. Normally I am the storyteller of our family but since I was pretty much in a haze for the first month of Mila's life, Morgan is guest-blogging for me and reliving the moments that we grew our family and hearts by one. He took the time to write it all down when Mila was two weeks old so we wouldn't forget anything ...excuse me while I grab the Kleenex.

When I was in labor, the dogs would NOT leave my side. It was so bizarre that they absolutely knew something was happening... also I was racing the clock to get some editing done before leaving for the hospital.

*Because I can't let Morgan tell a story without interjecting my own comments... my notes are in italics on mobile and in blue if you're on desktop*

Jill was originally due on either July 1st or 4th, depending on whether you trust the OBGYN or fertility doctor more. Regardless, the week or so leading up to the due date was pretty stressful for both of us as it was almost impossible to think or talk about anything else. It felt like we were going stir crazy, and I especially felt bad for Jill home alone while I was at work. We had a doctor's appointment set up with Jill's OBGYN, Dr. Sun, on Monday morning (July 2nd) to check in and see how things were going. That night Jill couldn't sleep well and around 4/5 AM started having more regular contractions, to the point that she downloaded an app to help track their timing. When I woke up it definitely felt like something was happening, but they weren't extremely painful or 5/6 minutes apart at that point. We went to see Dr. Sun, and she seemed excited about the possibility of seeing Jill again later that day for the actual delivery. She said we could go into the hospital right then or wait and see if the contractions progressed at home. We obviously took the second option as we didn't want Jill delivering on an empty stomach and also thought home would be more relaxing anyway. [Once you get to the hospital, you don't get to eat and I've never been known to miss a meal.] Greg [Jill's brother] was already in town, but I called Dad and Wendy and told them the news. Janet [Jill's mom] was already on the way but unfortunately Dave [Jill's dad] stayed home as he had a pneumonia scare. We got home and I ran out to get what we thought may be Jill's "last meal" - she chose Chicken Salad Chick. We hung out at the house and tried to get some rest, but obviously emotions were high and it was tough to settle down too much. Jill's contractions stayed about the same throughout the afternoon, and that evening around 6, Dr. Sun called to check in. She said that we were fine to stay home until the contractions got bad, but if we didn't feel like we could rest, it may be best to go ahead and come into the hospital. [Who can sleep when you have contractions for 24 hours and you are waiting to meet your baby?!] We decided that was the best option, so we had one final meal (Hobnob chicken fingers and onion rings for Jill *the healthy option* and pizza for me) with Greg and Janet, and then headed to the hospital, arriving around 8 PM. ​

This is in the labor and delivery entrance before we went into the hospital.

All set and ready to go!

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Check-in was smooth and easy, and we were quickly introduced to our main nurse Shayla, who had also gone to Georgia Southern. They checked Jill out and based on Dr. Sun's recommendation started her on the lowest possible dose of Pitocin [helps with dilation] to help nudge her body forward with labor. Dad and Wendy came by around 10:30 / 11:00 PM to hang out for a while as things were fairly mellow and chill at that point. Midway through their visit, Dr. Sun arrived to do a check of Jill and we asked them to step out. During the check, Jill's water broke which took contractions to a new level quickly. The doctors asked Jill about her desire for an epidural, and while she initially wanted to hold out for a while longer (in case I wanted to walk around or do something??), it was good that she pulled the trigger so that they could get everything scheduled and coordinated as the contractions got much worse and more regular once her water broke. We said goodbye to Dad and Wendy and waited for the anesthesiologist to come to administer the epidural. Once he did come, he asked Jill if this was her first baby and she said something like "Is it that obvious?" in a very joking and conversational nature. He responded very bluntly "That's just the first question I ask everyone". Needless to say, he was not very warm and Jill remarked after he left that he had "the personality of a cockroach". Apparently he was the Chief and our nurse Shayla could only laugh and bite her tongue. The epidural was also painful for Jill as the anesthesiologist didn't wait for a contraction to end before administering part of it (dick move). ​

Once the epidural was in, Jill was able to relax as the pain was no longer much of an issue. Shayla encouraged us to try to get some rest, and we took a nap from around 2-3 AM. Epidurals work based on gravity, and so the mom needs to be rotated from side to side every 2-3 hours. Shayla returned at 3 AM to rotate Jill to her other side, but quickly returned to the room saying that Mila didn't like the new side. She seemed calm and I was actually still laying down on the bench, but then another and another and another nurse came in and they started talking about calling Dr. Sun ASAP and it was clear that something was wrong. It turns out that Mila's heart rate dropped from ~130 BPM to ~80 BPM which is pretty serious. Luckily, the nurses did a great job and got things back to normal. The only downside was that Jill was now stuck on the one side to avoid the problem recurring. This made the leg that was up lose its numbness, but luckily Mila's heart rate returned to normal. The nurses also checked Jill and determined that she had gone from 3 cm to 9+cm dilated in something like 2 hours, which is extremely quick. They told me to go ahead and round up the troops as we would begin pushing shortly. I gave calls to everyone in the family and Amanda, who took delivery pictures for us, around 3:30 AM. Dr. Sun arrived shortly thereafter and did her own check, and told us that we should wait for Jill's body to naturally get in a better position to start pushing to help conserve Jill's energy - basically false alarm on rounding up the troops but everyone was already there or on their way at that point. You definitely couldn't tell the grandmas-to-be to go home and rest. ​

We tried to relax for a while and Greg and Janet actually came back to the delivery room for a while to hang out which was nice. At 5:45 AM, it was determined that it was time to get the show on the road and begin pushing. The first hour or so of pushing was just with Shayla, who did a great job coaching Jill. Jill was extremely determined and would even push an extra time or two periodically to try to help speed up the process. Dr. Sun arrived after an hour, and did a great job with Jill as well, making sure she knew what to do and also working tirelessly to massage her to reduce the risk of tears. It was such an incredible feeling watching Jill push as I was in awe of how strong and committed she was, but it was also tough not being able to help other than to hold her head and try to encourage her. I actually got taken off of leg holding duty because I was pulling her leg too far - I was just trying to do whatever little thing I could to help but got a little overenthusiastic. You hear horror stories of wives snapping on their husbands, but Jill couldn't have been better and was joking with the doctors and nurses throughout. Everyone also really enjoyed the "Push Jamz" playlist that we had put together - I think it was a welcome change from Enya type music and helped to keep the mood light. ​

After about 1.5 hours of pushing, Dr. Sun asked Jill how she was feeling and if she felt like she wanted to and had strength to keep going. Jill was emphatic in her "yes", and things kept moving forward. I could see the hair at the top of Mila's head, which was crazy, but it seemed like while we were making progress it was slow and often two steps forward, one step back. Dr. Sun said that getting past the pelvic bone was the big issue. After about 2.5 hours of pushing (the epidural had long run out by this point), Dr. Sun mentioned that we may need to think about other options such as vacuums or a c-section if we weren't making progress and if it seemed like "baby was telling us she didn't want to come out this way". I don't know how, but Jill still seemed to be pulling from some primal strength and said the she still felt good to continue. I put my head against hers as she pushed and tried to channel anything I could to her.  I don't know if it was the threat of those other options or what, but the next set of contractions Jill seemed to be able to push more than she had and the doctors were amazed at the progress. ​

She continued making really good progress, and I knew we were looking good when Dr. Sun put on her facemask and all of the delivery tools were made ready. The room began to fill with doctors and nurses, and all of a sudden I saw the top of Mila's head poke out. The feeling that I had when I saw her head pop out was unlike anything I have ever experienced, and it isn't even close. One of the first emotions was an amazing combination of obvious excitement and wonder to see a life that Jill and I had created. It is absolutely incredible to see an actual life that you created and God blessed you with appear before your very eyes. The other emotion that was just as strong, if not stronger, was a sense of amazement and wonder at what Jill accomplished through the labor process. She was pushing for 3.25 hours by the end of it, and every contraction felt like she gave it absolutely everything she had. I will never know where she dug deep to get the physical and mental strength to endure that marathon but it was unlike anything I have ever seen and two weeks later I still can't believe that I am lucky enough to be married to such a strong woman. Mila couldn't have a better role model as a Mom. My emotions in the moment actually almost messed things up...

When I saw Mila's head appear, my head was above Jill's as I had been pressing my forehead against her temple to give her encouragement each push. Mila's head popped out and I immediately broke into tears, which were falling down onto Jill's face which distracted her when she tried to figure out why her face was wet. The doctors and nurses had to politely tell Jill that the birthing process wasn't actually done yet - she still needed to push Mila's shoulders and the rest of her body out. Luckily for Mila, her Mom was more focused and composed than I was and was able to refocus and get her all the way out. I will never forget the feeling looking at Mila and looking at Jill once she was out - I have never felt closer to someone or more proud than I did in that moment. I guess kind of like the Grinch, my heart grew a number of sizes as the love I immediately felt for Mila was indescribable but I also had never loved Jill more than I did in that moment (and it continues to grow as I see what a wonderful Mom she is). Mila Jane Doty was born at 8:59 AM.

When they grabbed Mila, one of the nurses remarked that "she's cheesy!" and indeed, Mila did have a fair amount of vernix. She couldn't have been more beautiful to Jill and me. Jill actually asked one of the nurses - "is she actually this pretty or is it just me?". The nurses couldn't stop talking about how pretty Mila was and especially how long her eyelashes were. What was billed as the "golden hour" was more of a blur of the next two hours as Jill got skin to skin time with Mila and then they took Mila to one corner of the room to do exams and Jill was tended to by another set of doctors and nurses. Because Jill's temperature got slightly higher (100.6) than they want (100.4) during delivery, they had to do some extra testing on Mila which seemed to take a while. Mila also had a strange breathing rhythm for a little which brought in even more nurses, but everything was fine! ​

Once everyone was checked out, I got to go to the waiting room to meet our poor families that had been waiting since around 4:00 AM (it was now ~11:00 AM)! I have never had people more excited to see me or rush at me as quickly as they did when I stepped into the waiting room. It was a race to see who could hug me first and I didn't know who I should talk to first either. It was really special to see everyone so emotional and happy, and I brought the whole crew back to the room to meet Mila for the first time. I don't think there was a dry eye between Janet, Greg, Mom, Dad, or Wendy as they stepped into the room and saw Mila for the first time. Even thinking back on it now, it was such a cool moment to have them meet our baby girl as they held her, kissed her, and beamed as they considered the new addition to our family. We had some special moments and then it was time to pack up and head to the postpartum room that would be our home for the next 2 nights. ​

Overall, the labor (28 hours) and delivery process (3 hours of pushing) was the most incredible thing that I have ever done. I wouldn't change any of it (except easing Jill's pain) for the world and still can't believe how blessed we are to have Mila in our lives. I am extremely thankful for Shayla, Jazmine, and especially Dr. Sun for their incredible care of Jill and Mila as we couldn't have had better providers (other than the anesthesiologist). I was extremely happy with Northside Hospital. Jill has always been the love of my life but seeing her go through the process and show the strength and love that she did makes me see her in another light altogether and I am in awe that I am so lucky to have her as my wife. Mila is the most beautiful baby ever and I thank God for blessing us with such an angel. I feel called to be the best Dad that I can be for her and couldn't be more excited about this adventure. Suffice it to say, July 3, 2018 was the best day of my life thus far! 

A HUMONGOUS THANK YOU to Amanda of A.Bloch Photography for capturing these moments we will cherish forever. She was 39 weeks pregnant herself and got up in the middle of the night to be there for us. WE LOVE YOU! ​

And in case all of this was TMI for you... I'll end on a lighter note - Morgan's first diaper change. Excuse the language.